They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
