I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
