Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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