Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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