Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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