i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
