Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
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She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
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He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize