I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
