kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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