I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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