How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
