Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
