She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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