He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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