This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
