Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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