My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
too bad you live with your parents still
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
