Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
