You surviving the open bar?
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Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party