I need help removing her.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
