I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
All of them.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful