Texts From Last Night

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  (855): View more from

  I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?

  (855): View more from

  No. I am devastated

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  (855): I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts? (855): No. I am devastated http://tfl.nu/0cqz
  Replies (3) Good night (822) Bad night (936)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?

  (1-479): View more from Arkansas

  I believe so, yes.

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?

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  (479): I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing? (1-479): I believe so, yes. (479): Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you? http://tfl.nu/chrd
  Replies (46) Good night (2399) Bad night (852)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  my sisters under your porch take her home

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  (254): my sisters under your porch take her home http://tfl.nu/rfs3
  Replies (10) Good night (4807) Bad night (1096)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  where does the pee come out of this thing

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  (920): where does the pee come out of this thing http://tfl.nu/pebd
  Replies (13) Good night (739) Bad night (4628)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.

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  (305): After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it. http://tfl.nu/d686
  Replies (31) Good night (5295) Bad night (1348)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there

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  (540): Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there http://tfl.nu/4j17
  Replies (7) Good night (3579) Bad night (982)
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  (760): View more from California

  i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.

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  (760): i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital. http://tfl.nu/v98w
  Replies (3) Good night (2190) Bad night (806)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night

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  (561): A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night http://tfl.nu/8aub
  Replies (6) Good night (2890) Bad night (686)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.

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  (709): I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking. http://tfl.nu/va6a
  Replies (2) Good night (1810) Bad night (779)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.

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  (207): you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy. http://tfl.nu/cio1
  Replies (6) Good night (1643) Bad night (448)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.

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  (706): First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left. http://tfl.nu/7vi5
  Replies (4) Good night (1155) Bad night (266)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang

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  (623): Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang http://tfl.nu/tn14
  Replies (2) Good night (310) Bad night (554)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.

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  (907): I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused. http://tfl.nu/yzqj
  Replies (6) Good night (387) Bad night (519)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.

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  (716): I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender. http://tfl.nu/johq
  Replies (1) Good night (429) Bad night (255)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.

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  (832): Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead. http://tfl.nu/yr8v
  Replies (0) Good night (390) Bad night (348)

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