There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.