Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.

  (1-607): View more from New York

  I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.

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  (607): Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom. (1-607): I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts. http://tfl.nu/s0vw
  Replies (15) Good night (2433) Bad night (1282)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?

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  (847): How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women? http://tfl.nu/e8g0
  Replies (92) Good night (1585) Bad night (3925)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack

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  (540): then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack http://tfl.nu/52qh
  Replies (14) Good night (1594) Bad night (3292)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.

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  (612): My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell. http://tfl.nu/g9t5
  Replies (22) Good night (4090) Bad night (1054)
• Favorite

  (+63): View more from

  Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.

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  (+63): Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper. http://tfl.nu/zjj7
  Replies (3) Good night (1774) Bad night (788)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.

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  (907): You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield. http://tfl.nu/kh6y
  Replies (7) Good night (2076) Bad night (1191)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.

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  (863): Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day. http://tfl.nu/qpfj
  Replies (5) Good night (2085) Bad night (995)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.

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  (804): God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things. http://tfl.nu/yy5y
  Replies (11) Good night (2587) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I'm drinking too much free beer

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.

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  (651): I'm drinking too much free beer (508): Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible. http://tfl.nu/a7hm
  Replies (14) Good night (2490) Bad night (1190)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  I don't wanna be gay for a night.

  (850): View more from Florida

  I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.

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  (208): I don't wanna be gay for a night. (850): I think it would be worth it for free alcohol. http://tfl.nu/uvi0
  Replies (2) Good night (979) Bad night (724)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet

  (1-250): View more from British Columbia

  Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that

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  (250): The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet (1-250): Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that http://tfl.nu/74qk
  Replies (11) Good night (465) Bad night (936)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.

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  (617): Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea. http://tfl.nu/cuto
  Replies (1) Good night (486) Bad night (629)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night

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  (517): The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night http://tfl.nu/871q
  Replies (3) Good night (677) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is

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  (717): I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is http://tfl.nu/wji3
  Replies (1) Good night (377) Bad night (484)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??

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  (720): Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room?? http://tfl.nu/pgxo
  Replies (0) Good night (427) Bad night (258)

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