when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
