Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
