Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
