he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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