He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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