we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
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want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
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It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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