Have you finally orgasmed yet?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
did you just send me my own nude
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
