Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
