Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
