hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
