when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
