Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
