I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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