Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I enjoy the company of your penis
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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