There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Randomize
