he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I need to align my fucking chakras
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