Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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