that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
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My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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