none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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