She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
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Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
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No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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