im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Its about making memories worth repressing
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
