How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
