I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
