In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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