I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
