a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
send nudes
from the living room?
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