You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Help. Why am I so naked?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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