my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You're earring is so big in my mouth
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
