Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.