Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
