can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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