My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I checked into jail on foursquare
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
