the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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