come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
