I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
