does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
