I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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