he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
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I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
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Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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