i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
